sorry

been missing couple days, kinda hectic, back working, yeah !! still have my moments, my son still struggles at times as well. working trying to stay in the here and now and not get too anxious which i am prone to. just to give some people who have never had these struggles some of the hurdles i now have to deal with is when i sit down and look at what it takes to survive financially and what i make and spend, its a scary thought. i am grateful to have a job but i work at a place well know for hiring par-timers to avoid benefits and also they don't pay well either. when you figure child support, living expenses ect i barely  have 40-50 per month expendable income and i still need toiletries and a couple other incidentals. The scary part is that my dream is to be fully self supporting supporting with my own place, furniture, (even bills); but saving to reach that point is going to be difficult. i am extremely appreciative of the place i am at and the people, they are great but i think everyone thinks of someday having their own, don't feel it is unreasonable. its going to take work and help but want to get there and once there try to help someone else get there

on the streets

i believe i left off talking about society does not care and just how rough things are but that is not always the case and not everyone is so  uncaring. i was one of the fortunate who happened into a good situation, guided by some good people(Lisa) and although my life is still a struggle i can see some hope. a few months ago i saw none. in the last 18 months i had lost job where i had been making decent money and where i had been employed 9 years, my father died of cancer, i was robbed of almost $1200, found out my ex wife was terminal (liver failure) and then it that was not bad enough i also lost my mother too, to suicide. so you could say my life has sucked, but i am coming around. i consider myself fairly intelligent person and instead of heading down the path i was heading i sought some help and it came, not necessarily the help i wanted but the help i needed. i now have a place to lay my head at night where i feel safe and don't have to use belongings as a pillow or ride the trains all day because it was so cold outside. i even have a little part-time job and they seem impressed with my work ethic and skills and are talking about some good stuff for the future so i can re-unite with my children after my ex finally passes. Several months ago i just sat there and wanted to die, today i ate a good meal, napped a little and am going to watch a movie. but is very important that i remember this, and that when i was at that point someone was there to reach out and help me so when given the opportunity i must do the same.
www.sunnahinc.org