a new time

as i sat and ate with my children the other night in between services for their mother i realized that a door was closing and another opening. i think until that night i still saw them as children, naive, innocent and vulnerable. that night the conversation got very deep and at times intense and i slowly began to realize the were maturing fast, right before my eyes. now don't get me wrong they are only 17 &15 but still they just din't sound like it. i was very glad we had the conversation as somethings that needed saying were said but it was kinda sad seeing my kids as little adults. the selfish me wants to turn back the clocks to when they were little and i used to wrestle and play with them and hug and squeeze them, but alas they are no longer little kids anymore, they are little adults. i miss them but i suppose that is the natural course of life.As for me, i am still struggling sometimes i feel more than ever, did a couple things this week that made me for a few minutes feel like a normal person but still my mood is low and thoughts are dark but ii have a plan and i am going to stick to it and hopefully things will get better. we are in processing of moving and there is all that goes with that and i am hoping to give it my all and then afterwards do something for me and hopefully it will work out. until then i will hang in there and suggest you do the same. do something today for someone other than yourself..