learnig how to live in the moment

told everybody i would get back to blogging more so here i am .i am somewhat anxious about future, i miss most is stability, you know what i mean? knowing you are sleeping in same bed you are for until you are ready to move on, some security i guess is what i am trying to say. also trying not to allow myself to get too overwhelmed about stuff but is hard. i have mentioned several times about how little i really want out of life, a little place of my own, my children in my life, simple things but when i start putting the numbers together is hard not to get overwhelmed. i think i mentioned how little money i have coming in and at that rate i cannot even pay my own bills already much less save. i have an interview this week and am going to try to work both jobs. it will be difficult because i am in not the best health and less face no young lad anymore but seems my only solution. i try not to get envious of others but sometimes it is not easy. i miss not having a family. i miss my mother very much, you know someone you can lean on when you are troubled. i do have a group of young students who seem to care and want to make a difference and i am thankful for that but sometimes... well its hard. i am going to keep fighting though, i owe it to my kids. anyway to those who are out there and reading i thank you. it helps to share and tomorrow i hope you do something nice for someone, even if it is just a smile or a hello